I met with a guy the other day who has been divorced twice and each time just
gave his wife everything of their material wealth in their separation. He just
walked away from his money.

I asked him about it and he shared an
interesting insight: that for most people money is their God, and that, by
walking away from 100% of his wealth, he felt great about the separation, and
his children from both circumstances, and his ex, thought good of him for it
which, resulted in him feeling right about making the money back again really
quickly, without much trouble.

I look back at my own divorce where a
court decided our settlement and it was more than I wanted to give. So I felt
betrayed by the court, resentful about the settlement and caused my ex to be
bitter about the generous amounts she received. All she remembered was the
fight, the ugliness of my worship of money over friendship, and all I remembered
was being an arsehole, and being cheated by the court during the cruelty of our
fight.

Unlike my friend I didn't quickly make the money back because I
felt like a real prick, felt angry, felt bitter about the settlement and felt
like a loser over the disempowering circumstance. In retrospect, money was my
God and i put it before the welfare of my children.

You see, the bitter
taste I put in my ex wife's mouth was what she remembered when it was my time to
pick up the kids, to have my time, to enjoy being their father. All she could
remember, in spite of the generous court decided percentage of our wealth was
how hard I'd made it for her to break clean and how I'd used the money to, in
some way, "punish" her for our circumstance.

In 2009 I think it was,
Julia Gillard the Australian Prime Minister gave every Australian a bonus
payment of around $1,000. Most people spent that freebie on electronic goods
like TV sets and other white goods which were 99% imports, so the money, I think
$30 Billion dollars, blew away overseas to China and a few Aussie retailers made
a buck or two in the process. So, you could say, it was a waste of
money.

But one thing came of that bonus, and that thing was confidence.
Australians were basically told that while the world was sinking in a Global
Financial Crisis, we were flush, confident and buying TV's. Her strategy, or
that of Federal Treasurer Wayne Swan, more than stimulate the monetary economy
of Australia, stimulated confidence, gave some emotional stimulation to a
country, like others in the World, on the brink of trouble.

By arresting
the emotional sinking, Australia's Government arrested the real sinking of the
economy. Our emotions, how we feel about ourselves and our money is deeply
routed in our ability to earn more, to drive through troubles and uncertainty.
And that's why I think, in retrospect my friend who gave his ex wife a "more
than she expected deal" .. voluntarily and willingly without resentment, acted
more in the interests of his children, than I did in my divorce
settlement.

Money is a God, especially to those who fear losing it. Money
is, for a single mum, a whole different icon that it is to a single dad, no
matter how you see it, somehow there's a difference in the value of it. Money
given by decree is vastly different money to money voluntarily given in
consciousness. A generous settlement in a separation will result in a "Gillard"
affirmation of positive memory and that, frankly, is the best gift a separating
father can give to his children (or child!).

Feeling like an arse, or
having an ex who treats you like an arse because of the fight that had to have
to get their "perceived value" in a "letting go" process will cause more poverty
than any divorce settlement you can imagine. I cost me years of my life and
millions of my potential wealth.

Conscious separation means "leave a
great taste" in the mind and heart of those you are separating from. Stay
positive about your goodness and kindness. Cause an indelible memory of
generosity, warmth and appreciation. And, don't be attached to how that
percentage of your wealth is used or abused. It's not yours.

Finally, the
future value of present money is small, so commit to the best settlement and a
discretionary future commitment to outgoings rather than err to the opposite.
For example, if the school fees for the next 10 years are $15,000 - give it in
the settlement and negotiate how best to preserve it for use over the 10
years.

With Love and Inspiration to my Three Beautiful Children who see
past the bitterness I caused by making money my God over everything else all
those twenty five years ago,

People who focus on low priorities sabotage their self worth. So you might ask, "what is a low priority?"

Well a low priority is something that doesn't directly fulfil your V.I.P - Vision, Inspiration and Purpose... 

To know your top four priorities in life you need a Purpose greater than you. It means, the daily debate about whether to stop and pick up the milk or to sit and listen to drivel, or to attend a function will be solved simply by asking "how does this link to my top four priorities?"

Here is an amazing story... a story that should, if you are committed to your V.I.P feel like a story about a kindred spirit, somebody else in the world who has found their purpose, a purpose higher than their ego, and is living it.

In this wonderful short 5 minute documentary linked here to The George Negus 6.30 Report you will hear from a man who asks the world -- "How do 1,000 people fret about a single beached whale when 1,000 children die daily and nobody seems to care?" - He takes you to a world where, as part of tribal and religious conflicts children have an arm or leg hacked off in public by machete... and nobody seems to care... but we do care about a whale...

My client is a marine biologist who studies whales at the University of Hobart.. he's a retired corporate head who found a second life and followed his passion to it. He loves whales, he loves the sea, but the number of whales killed by Japanese trawlers, or dolphins in nets, or beached on sandy shallows is, in the educated world of marine biology, a ridiculous triviality. 

But to a whale lover, it is a high priority. To a couch potato, press driven family man, it could become their radio active topic. When we have no purpose in life higher than ourselves, we grope from social "leverage" topics, jump on the bandwagon without thought or inspiration just to vent our frustration.

Choose not to work on your low priorities by simply applying the DDD rule. Do, Dump, Delegate... Dump and delegate all low priority tasks. It makes you a better person, better self worth, better leader, better father or mother and better friend. 

I've attached to this blog posts an online copy of my favourite book. Over the past 35 years I've read, summarised, scanned and reviewed literally thousands of books. This one, is still today, my absolute favourite.

In the book Shaftsbury speaks to an exclusive club of "those who wish to be inspired in life" - and in his time, it was an exclusive association of lawyers, politicians and medical practitioners who saw the depth of their character as an integral asset in reaching the top of their profession. These days, it seems to be valued less.

In the book I love the way Shaftsbury drives home the art of presence and influence. And what do you think he credits as the single most important variable in Personal Magnetism? Yes, you guessed it, "Future Seeing" or in my language - Future V.I.P. Enjoy the read and bypass the language of that era, the content is astonishing as any you'll ever read.

Remind yourself today that the most attractive, sexy, delicious person you ever met, or ever felt you were, was probably not the most physically beautiful person you were or saw... if that makes sense

Libido and love come from a combination of things, but simplified down they come from beauty combined with V.I.P... 

A person without a big V.I.P can look beautiful but that becomes transparent after a short while. Then you ask, "why am I doing this?"

Libido comes from buoyancy and buoyancy comes from hopefulness which comes from inspiration and inspiration flows from vision, vision only survives the test of time with purpose and therefore, purpose builds your libido.

People who have big libodo have V.I.P ...because when vision is large, and inspiration is strong, and there's a purpose to focus it, the whole human mechnism is working in perfect harmony, energy is conserved, presence is felt, and power comes in the form of mojo, libido.

There are substitutes for libido including drugs, sugar, alcohol and more.. but non are sustainable or attractive. Substitutes cause lust, attraction in the physical sense, but there's little power behind it.

V.I.P is lifeforce... libido and it shows in all levels of life - particulary sexual.

We're all going to die sometime, but why wait till then to R.I.P - Rest in Peace... weird that we have to wait till we can't enjoy the bliss to take a rest in peace.

Here's a short video that helps explain why Vision, Inspiration AND purpose are inseparable and essential in combination for better energy, success, happiness, libido and leadership...

I’d like to share a story about me to give some insight into why your purpose matters.

I think it’s a spiritual thing but because I don’t know what that means, I’ll just have to rely on this story to convey the point.

I was born on the wrong side of the tracks. Stuff happened in my early years that set me on an angry path of self-destruction and wilful disobedience. It wasn’t pretty. Basically, you can say that I had no vision, didn’t trust tomorrow, and therefore didn’t invest in anything other than instantaneous gratification, no matter how bad it was for me.

By the time I was 14 I was at a cross roads. The high road or the low road and given how many of my good mates were dead or in jail, it wasn’t easy to choose. I took the high road. My Dad also made it easy by giving me an ultimatum, stay and take the high road or stay on the low road and leave home. I stayed.