Sometimes the road gets bumpy. It's surprising how little it can take to get us off track or out of balance. It's a tight rope and for the most part we do great at dealing with the wobbles that happen.
But every now and then life can throw us a curved ball and put us on the back foot and cause us to revert to patterns of response that are unhealthy.
Here are a few things to be mindful about during those ugly times:
1. Nobody does to you more than you do to yourself. If someone puts you down or is critical they've done you a favour by doing on the outside what you are doing on the inside. Don't run and blame. Instead thank and grow (grow means to dig in a work out why you are doing on the inside what somebody is doing to you on the outside) - don't run, evolve.
2. Ugly things don't signal you are on the wrong track - often they mean you are on the right track but you are growing through a self set limitation. So, again, don't blame and run, stop, evolve and grow.
3. Time and space - have you noticed that the further you get away from a problem the closer you get to a solution. The more instantaneous your choices, the more likely it is that you are acting habitually and potentially in a repeat cycle. So, avoid making big decisions when you are in reaction, blame or anger mode, because the likelihood is, you are not thinking in a healthy way, long term.
4. Watch your diet. During ugly times and when we are in repeat cycles of stress or reaction, we revert to food and substances as a mechanism for self medication, whether it is good diet or bad a sudden over emphasis on food - too much or too little can be a big sign that we are in reaction ( includes alcohol and coffee). Such signals are warnings that our choices are not coming from a good place.
5. Go back to purpose - the difference between living from ego reaction and living from your true self, your heart, is the amount of emphasis you place on feelings. It's hard but feelings are driven by ego and ego will make decisions based on pieces of incomplete data. Do you know your purpose? How does this ugly period like back to your purpose - Do you know your values? How does this ugly period demonstrate that you are not living according to your true values? Remember, nature destroys anything that is not fulfilling its purpose so the ugly time might just reveal that you were off not linking what you were doing to your purpose and values. This can be a great and positive way to approach any healing.
The Back on Track - 30 day challenge is a city retreat designed to work you through any ugly patch in your life, resolve it and teach you the process of getting Back on Track
quickly for the next time.
Today i've posted a few articles that really caught my eye over the past weeks. They focus on love.
For me, I find it so easy to get caught up in the turmoil and pragmatic variables of life that are so important but at the same time, getting disengaged from all the important things that make it good to be of help to others and live my VIP.
What I've been emphasising over the past weeks in all the articles I've written for you, is making wise choices and having honest expectations of life. The real topic that evolves through all of this is - How do you feel today?
Since time began, people have been trying to feel good on a daily basis. Adam supposedly ate the apple submitting to temptation and forgoing long term benefits for short term feelings. So, it seems there is a quandary that has existed forever, and will exist forever.
That quandary is between short term pleasure (feeling good day to day) and long term results (feeling good in the long term.
We choose this daily.
On the one hand there is the person who might say "I don't care about anything or anyone - all that matters is me, right now and getting what I want" They often go to any source that stimulates their feel good experience whether it be food, sex, greed or spirituality... (the four substitutes)
On the other hand there is the stoic person who puts emotion aside and applies discipline to life. This person struggles a bit with daily happiness, never quite feeling that things are on track, but, at the end of a long period they will achieve a lot.
The cost of having what you want in the long term is paid in the short term
The cost of having what you want in the short term is paid in the long term.
Can we find the balance?
The answer is absolutely NO - as long as the definition of "feeling good" sinks down to self gratification and the multiplicity of emotional states that go with it are the measure of life.
The answer is absolutely YES - as long as love is the definition of "feeling good" rises up though the mire of dirt and dust of daily troubles to be the primary experience one has in life.
THe articles of the day list a few ideas about this. One important idea is that you can love anything you choose and it will permeate your life. Nature, a dog, a god, but the key here is that when you try to love yourself you are trying to love shifting sand or moving water. I believe, and I will take it through the tests of many challenges, that the first love in life, is a significant other. A partner, spouse or lover. This is, for an adult at least, the platform nature intended. It takes courage, an open heart and skills I teach to achieve this space, sacred love, but it's doable, you just need to trust your heart.
Trusting your heart is easy, once you know what it feels like to have it open in contrast to having a deep seated emotion... that's the experience I share in the 30 day challenge.
Love and wisdom
There are situations where the golden handcuffs are on. We are in jobs we don't love, maybe even dealing with people we don't like and yet, if we don't do it, we sink.
What do we do?
1. Create options
There is nothing worse than being in a bad place without a fall back option or two. This means, in confidence, applying for other jobs, saving some cash or thinking about starting your own business. If you do the latter, please do a detailed business plan or you are likely to fail.
2. Don't Blame
The most important element to avoid that can totlaly disempower you and make the whole thing worse is to blame the company, the boss or your job. You can, with skill, adapt to any job, role or position and find some peace of mind in it if you don't blame the work, In the book "Innerwealth, Putting The Heart and Soul Back into Business" there are untold exercises that can assist you in dealing with situations without blaming. That's the key here.
3. FInd your Vision..
No matter how bad things get, if you have a vision, inspiration and purpose that inspires you, then you can always link what you are doing to that vision and then it becomes inspiring. As an example. A client was in golden handcuffs in a job with an abusive and negative boss. They developed their VIP statement and linked the seven areas of their vision to what this job and the skills of dealing with the abusive boss was teaching them. In the end, they found it acceptable if not enjoyable to use the opportunity to learn.
It is wise to use skills we share in our Nature's Law off-sites to use every resource at your disposal to create a better environment for your work. This is an extensive and simple way to change your mindset even when the circumstances are not pleasant. There is a significant amount of writing on this web site to support this idea that environment can transform mindset fast.
- Mindful of Body
- Mindful of Feelings
- Mindful of Mind
- Mindful of objects
Imagine you are sitting at your desk, a meeting is about to start and it is very, very important but your mind just wont function clearly. Everything seems jumbled, you are not fully prepared, you decide to wing it.
How could you have done this different and why was your mind fuzzy? How could you get in control of your performance?
How much stress do you think this situation places on people?
How could you change this situation just by simple body mind techniques?
How could you change this situation just by simple mind control techniques?
What does this circumstance have to do with yesterday? Part A Becoming Aware of Body.
Where does the mind start and the body finish? Stamina and health is more than looking good or being able to run a few kilometres. Stamina means you can handle stressful situations.
A person who is carrying allot of emotion, or who has physical fitness but not health, will wilt under even the smallest stressful pressure. So, the ability to stand up and move from motivation to inspiration requires a mindful approach to body, feelings, mind and objects.
It is a known fact that the body stores emotion, and in some cases, that emotion causes disease. But there's much much more. A healthy body is not essentially the most good looking body. A healthy body has resilience, immunity and the ability to cope with a diversity of environments. When a body evolves is grows more capable of experiencing stress, not less.
Stress can take the form of emotional, mental, physical and spacial challenges. If we are to run a business, invest in stock markets or property markets, exist in an exiting relationship, travel the world, we need stamina and health. Not good looking health, but real, strong, resilient health.
Lost sleep, travel, crappy food and allot of hard thinking are a part of any person's life, whether it be children, business, investments, or sport. So, evolving your mind, body, feelings stamina is a critical part of a full and exciting life.
For a clear mind your body must be in your awareness. You will need to know the affects of food, posture, breathing, exercise and environment on your body and therefore your mind.
The step of becoming in control of the way your body is positioned, what goes into it, how it serves you in your life is a very beautiful one. It took me thirty years of yoga to discover the answers, but it doesn’t need to take that long. In my seminars we spend only a few hours and from that, the whole body mind science can be completely understood, and then, the difficult challenge, the key is to apply that knowledge: putting it to practical use.
The skills I use for this step are:
- Burst Training for Stamina
- Corpse Pose for Nerve Control
- Posture correction
- Perfect Stillness - Inner listening
- Constitutional Analysis
- Diet and Nutrition Consultation
- Meditation practices
These are all included in the 30 Day Back on Track Consulting ProgramPart B Becoming aware of Mind and Emotion
Emotion is a great aspect of life but emotion is a disturbed state of mind. No good decisions and very little clear thinking takes place in a state of positive or negative emotion. Emotion might be great for watching a movie, dating, and playing with life but when clear thinking and good vision are required emotion is a poor foundation.
People will not place their trust in a person who cannot control their emotion and they will not put their trust in a person who has no emotion. The point here is to know how to have emotional authenticity and yet, never act from that place. This is called mind control.
Mind control will rid you of emotional downers such as depression and mental stress. I recommend the process of natural law because it’s easy, fast and absolutely natural.
The skills I use for this step are:
• Centering Techniques
• Mindful awareness
• Mind Balance
These skills are taught later in the Back On Track 30 Day ChallengePart C Becoming Aware of the Feelings
Other people feel your thoughts before you speak them. Much of this awareness for people has been lost. Many people still say one thing and feel another but think no one can detect the difference. There is also a huge group of leaders with blocked feelings. They have buried those feelings for so long, they have lost touch.
This is a very important step in being an authentic leader and gaining support on your career path. When people detect, even subconsciously, that there is a lack of integrity between feelings, body language and words, they withdraw, and this is a disaster for a good leader.
In the program you can focus on this aspect in order to develop more personal authenticity.
The skills I use for this step are:
• Interconnectedness with nature
• Personal Magnetism
• Breathing TechniquesPart D Becoming Aware of Objects
Objects have energy. Even a broom handle has energy. It’s all about us and some people can feel this energy, some can’t, but everyone is affected by it.
A room will carry the energy of the last occupants. A chair will have the energy of the last person seated in it. An office will have an energy based on the history and hopes of those who work in it. Trophies, photographs, art, pieces of paper, book spines: these all impact the mind, body and feelings in an office.
We do not pay enough attention to our environment handing it over to architects, interior decorators or even the office junior to manage. I believe an organization can increase productivity by 20 -30% just by environmental management within the offices. And, I believe that harmony in the office increases, health problems decrease and stress drops when environmental considerations are give as high a priority in leadership as human psychology.
The skills I use for this step are:
• Intuitive Awakening
• Inner Calm - Stillness - Inner Listening
There are great masters such as Emerson, Plato and many Asian Masters (Lao Tzu) who are convinced that if mankind lived life according to the principles of Nature, then we would be at peace with ourselves and with each other. It’s a philosophy not uncommon in the ways of the East but has yet to be fully grasped by the western world. We are hoping this modern way of presenting this ancient theme will resonate with you, irrespective of your cultural or religious background.
Nature is a special place, where dreams meet reality and reality can transfigure itself into a sign or symbol, or a pure expression of culture. Nature as Giorgio Armani observes it is eternal, infinite and powerful, seemingly simple yet always producing different paths through which to reconcile desire and fantasy. Emotions that change the meaning of everyday life and transform it.
There are competing forces for your time: health, wealth, love, friends, learning and growing.
While at first glance it may appear that these competing forces are disparate - going in different directions, that assumption cannot remain true if you choose to live your purpose in life and be paid well for it.
Imagine five elephants tied to a post (I know it's not a good animal rights picture but bare with me please) - now imagine them pulling in opposite directions. The post won't move because there is a counterbalance of the force of each elephant. The individual will say that their life is rich and in balance, but really their life is rich and rewarding in counter balance.
That counterbalanced person will say that their sport counterbalanced their stress and their friends counterbalance their work and their relationship love counterbalances their wealth, or something like that.
But to live on purpose one needs to forget balance and become aligned. Aligning friends, love, work, wealth and health with one single point of focus, their purpose.
You see, when the going gets tough in life, counterbalance makes it safe, but when the going gets tough on purpose in life, we need all of our life elements pulling and pushing us harder in the direction we chose, not making us comfortable.
Seeking counterbalance means comfort and safety, but seeking purpose is not comfortable nor safe. Seeking purpose there is no 50% - no half hearted stories, no regret.
In counterbalance there is nothing but regret because what is good for health is bad for love and what is good for wealth is bad for friends and what is good for love is bad for health. You can't win no matter what you do, the forces of life counterbalance and contradict each other.
On purpose, and being paid extremely well for it you simply know your purpose and love for it, health for it, wealth for it, friends for it. It's way out of balance because you have a great vision, dream, life outcome. You want to make a difference and you know that while you counterbalance each element counteracts the energy of the other.
If all the elements pull in one direction you don't need safety - there's a certain aura of confidence that the little glitches in life will be superseded with big victories. You might be struggling with money but your love will pull you through or you might be struggling with health but your wealth will pull you through or you might be struggling with love but your friends will pull you through.
The big difference is to see the difference between rescue and purpose: in counterbalance with the elephants pulling on the centre pole (you and your sense of self) there is an obsession with feeling good, so the counterbalance model feels superb. If you don't feel good in health, then you improve your health. But in the purpose model, if you don't feel good in health you know that nothing is missing, health is just in another form, because all the elephants are pulling in the same direction.
The difference between being on purpose and being paid extremely well for it and being in counterbalance mode is not really measured clearly in the outcome of your life, it is however measured in the quality of your life. One process thrives on experiences and events, the other on a deep deep sense that your life has a meaning greater than the next happy thing.
Living purpose and being paid extremely well for it is the prime focus of Walker International Consulting. We offer the 30 Day Challenge and Life Coaching "Back on Track Program" to help people find and live their purpose.
If this doesn't move you to tears and help move on from worrying about @lancearmstrong nothing will http://www.wimp.com/sportsillustrated/
So, what’s a realistic expectation of a day at the office?
50% of the day will go the way you want it
50% of the day will not go the way you want it
if those statistics are not what you experience then your home life will compensate for it.
If more than 50% of your day goes the way you want it, less than 50% of your life outside the office will go the way you want it
If less than 50% of your day goes the way that you want it, then more than 50% of your life outside the office will go the way that you want it.
If you define a great day at the office as 50% great and 50% you could have done better or enjoyed more, you’re absolutely on track.
Sometimes in our life we don’t care what happens outside the office. Say we’re in a new career, single and playing footy on the weekend. So, we really don't care much at this time about spirituality or social life, it’s just not a priority. In this period we might remember the job satisfaction as being 90% positive and at the same time we experienced 10% satisfaction in our spiritual or social life but didn’t care. It wasn’t a value to worry us at that time.
But years later, we get married, have children, get more into self awareness and suddenly job satisfaction plumets to 30%. We start to complain to the company. We might even change jobs to try to improve our job satisfaction. What we don't know is that an increase in support must also increase challenge in our life.
So it would be wiser to look at the situation far more broadly.
In life there is a blend of support and challenge. The two are always in perfect balance. Support (things go our way) Challenge (things are not to our liking). This in Universal Law terms is called love. Balance between support and challenge and at the border between them we grow (evolve).
So, in a healthy relationship you will be supported 50% and challenged 50%. If there is an overwhelming attraction to being supported then the challenge may build up until it becomes a true tsunami - a violent outburst - a fit of rage. That’s the net result of being infatuated with support (it’s not love, it’s feel good emotion we call love.)
Same at work. If the company and your job are not a huge priority in your life then the challenge at work might be higher because the support at home is a sudden priority. But if challenge at home starts to rise, support at work might become important. This is why people in therapy quite often become dependent on the therapist for support while the challenge of their life alienates them.
There’s a better approach. Instead of false - text book expectations of work and relationships, welcome support and challenge equally. If you leave work with any notion that you have done a great day without bad or a bad day without good, balance it. If you think you are living in a relationship that is challenging you, look around for the therapist, friend, family, job or whatever, that is over supporting you.
In all the universe balance exists - it’s the first law of nature and one that contradicts the human emotional expectation that the ultimate end of life and self development is more positive than negative, more support than challenge which always leads to hurt and disappointment.
Love to hear your comments. There is a form below - it's called the Emotional Shower and it's a great process my clients use to make sure they come home balanced and therefore turn up in relationships.
What went well at the office today?
Eg Made a Sale
What is the downside of what went well at the office today? (20)
Eg. I've now got lots of paperwork to do
What could have gone better at the office today? (20)
I was bored?
What's the upside of what could have gone better at the office today? (20)
Gave me time to interact with friends
The theory of the five elements is an integral aspect of Traditional Chinese Medicine. They should be understood as five phases and should not be thought of as elements in the literal sense.
The five elements theory is a system of correspondences and patterns, which include processes and functions of the body, mind and spirit. Each element is symbolically represented by Ether, Fire, Earth, Metal/Air.
The 30 day Challenge is an opportunity to balance all five elements:
When our ether element is healthy: We feel supported by existence, and generally feel confident, at ease and comfortable with life. We cultivate true purpose.
When our ether element is out of balance: We feel ungrounded, uprooted, never satisfied, always in doubt, and do not trust ourselves. We have obsessive thoughts and repetitive thought patterns.
When our earth element is healthy: We have clarity of mind and a high power of focus. We have increased ability to achieve our goals.
When our earth element is weak: We lose perspective and become confused. We often become victim of delusion with mental focus turning into obsession. This can lead to impulsiveness, aggressiveness and fits of anger.
When our fire element is healthy: We have high spirit. Our intuition and enthusiasm for life always guide us to the right place at the right time to meet the right people. We feel joy and a strong sense of purpose in our life.
When our fire element is weak: We lose faith in ourselves, in others and in life in general. We lack enthusiasm and direction in life. We are unable to reach out and connect with others, or communicate our inner feelings. We become emotionless and often uncaring and cruel.
When our air element is healthy: We are sensitive, honest, courageous, firm, proud, uplifted, forgiving, faithful and loyal.
When our air element is out of balance: We have a vague feeling that "something isn't right" but no clear sense of why.
When our water element is healthy: We feel a sense of power and equilibrium, increased sense of trust, less fear and anxiety and courage to face the unknown.
When our water element is out of balance: We feel fearful, cold and scattered. We are in survival mode. We feel so weak that even when we are ready to fight, we know that we are going to lose.
Balancing each element in our body can only be understood at an individual level. We are all blessed with differing quantities of each element. For example: if you are a fire predominant person balancing fire needs to be of the utmost importance because your fire balance can highly impact all your other elements.
If you are a water dominant person (this is determined at birth and never changes throughout your life) - then balancing water needs to be the highest priority - water out of balance for you can flood the other elements.
If you are an Air predominant person, and you don't nourish your air event at work you will come away tired, no matter how many seminars or yoga classes you attend. This is an important element of the 30 day challenge.
You can see how important nature is, but these old technologies of having to be only in nature to benefit are self limiting. What about bringing nature to us? Why not learn the universal laws of nature and therefore make these scenes your work life, your heart and soul? Why not see your relationships, your calamities and challenges all as a mirror of the beauty of nature? We don't need to fly to nature, we are nature. We are the environment we create. I see people drinking dark sugary drinks poisoning their guts or smoking while complaining about the way we treat the environment/ What about our inner environment. Our Innerwealth? Bring nature home to love and to success at work by understanding the universal laws of nature. Be transportable, be inspired, be in love in nature no matter where you are.. live longer, love more, make a difference, let nature be your guide. Please, you are welcome to come over to my contact page
and have a chat about how you can bring nature to work, to home and to the world or look over the Laws of Nature on this web