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here
are no half hearted success stories. There are no half hearted great
relationships. People either do it or they sabotage it. And half way
between we wrestle our demons. This article shares the keys to making
that choice. In or out? 100% with heart or 100% not. Let's leave the
middle ground to those who choose - half hearted living.
When you hear somebody say, "put your whole heart into it" what does
it say to you? Does it mean, be nice, or be kind, or be friendly? Or
does it mean "throw yourself - everything you've got, into it?"
This is a huge problem today. People are not good at throwing their
whole heart into things. They throw allot of other things instead.
People throw their mind into things, and really think about it. They
throw their money into things and really take a risk. But less and
less, people throw their heart into it.
I want to suggest to you that throwing your whole heart into something is important.
Important because it means you have the youthful energy of a child
mixed with the wisdom and mindfulness of being who you are.
Youthfulness is enthusiasm. Many people lack that energy. When
people come to me for a consult they often tell me about their plans
and visions. It almost sounds like they are reading the news from the
paper, or that there's someone else involved and that person wrote the
vision.
There is a vast difference between goal achievement and putting your
heart into it. Goal achievement gets the framework right, I suggest
this is important. But, if you don't find something that you can "put
your whole heart into" then, you'll have a backlog of creative energy
that can easily become toxic.
Toxic backlogs of creative energy lead to very negative
circumstances. Heart break for one, but there are more. There's anger,
addictions, eating disorders, aggression and self sabotage. The last
one on that list is the most common one.
In business, when people first start their company, 99% of people
put their whole heart into it. Then along the way they lose it. Usually
because other duties in the business "kill" the fun of it. I meet many
business people who are almost determined to "kill" the fun of business
and these people are sadly lacking their real spirit. Heartless.
In relationships, when people first start, there is no question that
they open their heart and really get into the energy of relationship.
But hearts get broken, and then in the process of fixing it, their
heart gets protected by ideas. Ideas kill the energy of the heart, in
fact, that's why we have them, protection.
Anything you do, that your whole heart is not invested in, will
struggle. So, it is important to know when your heart is in and out of
whatever you are doing. The only way to really know this, is to learn
to sit in a moment of stillness and ask "is this what I really want to
be doing tomorrow"
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I
paddle a kayak most days. It's my "enjoyment" way of keeping fit.
Sometimes I overdo it and when I think about going out tomorrow I just
don't feel "enthusiastic" my heart goes out of it. Now, we can ask
"should Chris push himself, or should he listen to his heart" and the
answers will vary, male to female.
One side of me will say nurture,
"stay home" the other side will nature, "get going" – there's a tussle,
nature or nurture. What do I do? I do both.
First I try mental gymnastics, I question my reasons for not going.
Am I just being lazy, is it because I ate badly, is it because I am a
bit down emotionally. And if the answers to these sort of questions is
yes, I negotiate with myself and make sure I still go out.
However, sometimes the reason my heart goes out of it, does not fall
into the logic band width. Sometimes it's purely intuitive, and this is
also my heart speaking. Maybe sometimes there are reasons not to go out
that are beyond my mind. Maybe my health is not perfect, maybe there's
a storm on the horizon. Maybe there's an important article, like this
one, to write. So, there's often a reason I can't put my finger on and
I have to listen to that reason. It's my intuition.
I have often written about putting your heart into life, 100%. Yet,
it seems that it is still one of the hardest elements of my work to
catch onto. Without doubt it is the most important element of
everything I do.
When you are in a relationship and your heart goes out of it, you
also have to sit, like me and my kayak, and ask "is there a reason? Am
I being stubborn? Am I just ego hurt? Am I afraid? Am I projecting
stuff onto my partner that's not healthy? And if the answer to these –
logic questions is yes, then, I'd suggest you stick around but process
that baggage.
However, if you are in a relationship where your heart is not in it,
then it can also be your intuition. Maybe trust got broken? Maybe time
has just exhausted the situation? Maybe there's just not enough in
common? The bottom line is "when your heart goes out, and it's not from
logic, then so must you.
Whether it is business or relationship or sport. If your heart is
not in it, you are not in it. This is my work. I help people put their
heart into whatever they do – 100%. And if they can't I help them
withdraw their heart from it, 100%. There's no half hearted success
story in business or relationship.
To put your heart into whatever you do, there's some skill sets you
might be wise to learn. I teach them so, you know where to go if you
need it.
Put your heart into it. 100% skill set.
Mindset – The ability to do mental gymnastics when needed.
Recovery – The ability to pick yourself up when you fall
Resilience – The ability to stay on track no matter what.
Direction – The ability to listen to your intuition (stillness)
Focus – The ability to discern nature or nurture daily.
Open it – The ability to keep your heart open in hell
Follow it – Youthful enthusiasm sustained.
Have a great day.
Chris
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