Growth is essential in life but we do not have to destroy everything we have to get it.

Jealousy, envy, anger, resentment, reaction, judgement, criticism, depression, anxiety, stress, tension and more are all the result of disconnectedness. Diconnected to self, to reality, to nature, to life. This is foundation stone 101 of success. Nothing is missing it just changes in form. Can you imagine the fulfilment, contentment, resilience, satisfaction and the resulting communication that would be transformed by just this one insight. Don't take my word for it please. Go sit under a tree for a week, go to mountains for 40 days, the desert for a few years or the hills and you'll see what great sages have seen: nothing is missing it can just change in form. And you, your thoughts, are the form changer...


When my first marriage failed more than 35 years ago, it was proof of the insight: "HOW DO MARRIAGES FAIL? VERY SLOWLY AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN" - the same as bankruptcy.

At the time, I had only one mechanism to grow forward to a new relationship and that was to destroy the old one to make way for the new. I did the same with my business, I smashed it by selling it fast, because I wanted desperately to get away from it. Smash and grab.

But there's a better way than smashing the old to make way for the new. You can have both the old and the new. It's called an abundant mindset and I'll share how unique it is.

When you hear yourself say "OR" you are operating in a bipolar proposition (some people live in it) that creates no choice. In bipolar thinking, you can have the present or the past. But not both.

Going back to that marriage breakdown, which, by the way took seven years to break down slowly before it all of a sudden ended in divorce, I could have approached it with an abundant mindset like this:

Instead of thinking that "I can be married or move on," I could have said "I can be married, and move on."


By loving what I had before I left it.

LOVE IT BEFORE YOU LEAVE IT. - Leonardo da Walker

If I could have loved my ex wife, I could have left and maintained a connection, not a live in marriage but a love friendship. All would have been smooth. Instead, I used the word, "or" and in doing so, gave myself no wise ground to separate with love. We became enemies in order to move forward. I smashed the past, to create the future. It's a very primitive way to have approached moving on.

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