Return to site

How do I know if I am Stuck in (addicted to) the Future?

Ambition is a beautiful thing. It drives us, motivates us, gives us energy to overcome challenges. It is the great cure for bad situations. Trauma is overcome by the future. Dreaming of it, wanting to go to it, imagining it, the future is a cure all, for a present and past we do not like. When we lose hope for the future, we suicide.

So, without doubt, the future holds medicine for both the unwell and the well. For a person who loves life, and is enjoying every moment of it, the future holds the possibility of more of what they love. Give me more of this...is a state of extreme satisfaction multiplied into the future. One cannot doubt the power of an attractive future that is built on satisfaction for the present.

But the future sometimes holds a poison cup. We must be careful to choose which cup we drink from when discussing, wishing, hoping and navigating a vision for the future. Because the second it, the future, becomes a remedy for the past or the present, it turns toxic.

For the well person, the future is “MORE” and “MORE” - but for the unwell, the future is to “FIX.” When we include the solution to today’s problems in the modification of the future, we turn the future from a good healthy piece of human nature into poison. When we start running from the present toward the future in order to escape where we are, to fix others, to solve problems, we start running down the side of a sand hill, and that run cannot stop until we crash at the bottom.

The future can turn into an addiction “when I” becomes a mantra, “someday Isle (I’ll)” becomes an island instead of a journey. We start running from the past, bypassing the present, scooting into an imaginary future where cows fly and happiness is on the lips of everyone we meet. Nirvana is painted into the future addiction of the escapist, the one who has become addicted to the future as a solution to a most unsatisfactory present or a darkened past.

Those who are addicted to the past, running from it, wishing it were different, blaming it, judging others in their past, are playing victim to it and will also leverage the future or present as a means of escape. But life does not work like that. Nature has a different plan. Nature is asking us to evolve and to evolve we must love, the past as much as the present and future.

We often fall in love with the future. In relationship we can easily bypass the ugly aspects of a person in favour of the promise that they bring for a beautiful bright rainbow filled future. They may promise orgasms and blow jobs or good cooking and nice children, but they will not deliver this promise. Instead what we find is that we were used, tricked, sold a crock only because it was we who were running, available for the escape. You can’t sell ice cream to someone who is freezing, you can’t sell heaters in the tropics, you can’t sell a hair dryer to a bald man.

We can only be sold the promise of a better future if the past is painful, or the present is awful. If we have a valued past that’s resolved into self worth, a grateful present that embraces the diversity of reality (support and challenge) and (mirrors as teachers - evolve) then the future sits in front of us not as a remedy or something someone offers to fix, create or build with nirvana, but rather they fit into the patten of expanding the now, simply “more” of what already is.

The symptoms of this addiction to the future, stuck in the future, are sadly painful: depressions, mental health issues, lack of resilience, disappointment, addicted to change, living on a tightrope, hoping for a miracle, investing in risk, being irrational, continued self questioning, and all of this comes to an obsession with OCD, the desire to eventually get it perfectly right. The individual who is addicted to the future is vulnerable to promises that lack nothing but an alignment to the fantasies of “someday Isle.” And therefore an addiction to the future can cause massive investment in what will be deemed a fantasy, one day.

Half way up the Namche Hill in Nepal, en route to Mt Everest base camp, this addiction is revealed for some. For many, the hill is simply a reflection of the reality they have come to expect as they trek the Himalayas for the first time. They have experienced this life sucking one step at a time presence in their preparation and training, a training program I’ve sent to everyone, with at least 3 months to complete it before this real life half way up confrontation. Everyone, trained or not has the same moment. But for those addicted to the future, it is a shock.

At the point of challenge one is confronted by the same words, the same question every time “do I really want this?” And here the addicted to the future individual will often reply “No.”

Mistakenly there are those who are addicted to the future, stuck in the future so far, that they believe this moment of question is about the end game. They might question whether this discomfort, this pain, this humiliation is worth it for the end they had planned. Then instead of finding remedy, they give up, turn back, blaming the end as “not worth it.” But they will never know. Because what they’ve blamed is the value and benefit of the end, rather than witness that they have not learned to celebrate the present.

A young woman comes for a month of coaching with me declaring that she wishes to become an entrepreneur and make heaps of money. She has the destination, her Mt Everest clear in her mind. I begin in coaching her to make sure I understand her nirvana, her vision, dream, future. For her, it is the result of her wish to not experience what she feels daily. Her depression, her self depreciating subjugation to family, boss, partner, all of which adds to self doubt. She has, as a cure, elected to build nirvana, wealth and entrepreneurship, as an escape. I have a task ahead. Firstly if I confront her nirvana escape she will become depressed so I must leave the addiction in place, it is serving her, “one day I’ll be free of this by being wealthy and an entrepreneur.”

The other aspect of this coaching with the young woman is to help her make the present more attractive than the future. To help her embrace rather than run from everyday life. And to do that we must simply learn how to grow from her small view of life to a large one. Instead of walking on egg shells, with a tiny outlook on what everyday life would look like if her nirvana manifested, to help her experience nirvana now by adapting, growing and expanding her view of reality.

An ungrateful person must, by necessity, build castles in the air. So unthankful they are for what they have, they cannot find a moment of peace unless it is drugged or physicalised in orgasim. Their satisfaction with life as it is can only be through physical practices such as meditations and yoga, that isolate life from the real world into compartments such as yoga rooms, bed rooms, and meditation music, separated and isolated from real life they find the satisfaction in, once again, escaping today rather than living it.

I can’t get no “satisfaction.”

To the addicted to the future person all present satisfaction, whether compartmentalised in sex, food, drugs or victory is projected into “will it bring me what I want?”

They are excited by satisfaction because for the addicted to the future person it is some representation, a sign that the future they dream is coming, satisfaction of any description is a marker left by the gods of nature to say, “you are on the right way.”

But satisfaction is “God” - it is nature. And it is not compartmentalised into chemical pleasures. Satisfaction with what is, as it is, is Love. And love is, in this most simple form, nature’s evolution taking real life in its hands.

Life grows at the border of support and challenge. Therefore there is a temptation to define support as “satisfaction” and lack of support, challenge as “dissatisfaction.” But this is for children. Love is support and challenge, the present moment is always support and challenge, the future nirvana, in contrast to the addicted in the future person’s eyes, is support and challenge. There is no running away from it. What we run away from with addictions to “winning jobs” or “making money” or “getting it right” or “being an entrepreneur” or “going to Mt Everest base camp” are all subject to the universal laws, “support and challenge” -“attraction and repulsion” - “pleasure and pain” - “good news and bad.” The future holds the same

The Games People Play

Over the course of a life as a coach and mentor I have seen it all. The extent to which people will go to preserve a distorted sense of what the present “should be like” and what the future “will be like” if they kick and scream and dance and seduce and rob, and steal, and party or for some, what the future will be like if they work really really really hard. The patterns are always the same “someday Isle” - “when I” and “My dream is real and this reality stinks.”

Fiction in the mind of an individual, addicted to the future, is real. Whether that addiction is caused by holding onto a past story (a sequence of proof) or the absolute belief that the future they have painted is absent of all the drama they feel in the present, is not important. In addiction to the future, the future is being used as a medicine to cure the past or present. There is an entire disregard for a universal law that can’t be escaped, and therefore, it’s a fruitless chase. Running from something that’s attached to us.

Nothing is ever missing it just changes in form. We cannot run from reality. And the entire secret of cure is not the future. The secret of cure is thankfulness.

Everything vibrates. But the future addicted individual will only enjoy, vibrate with thankfulness if and when everything fits their fiction. This automatically means they must fix 50-70% of the life they currently live and so spend 50-70% of their life disappointed. The vibration of disappointment is low. A harsh aggression on others, an intense need to control, adjust and modify the now, a dark vibration that repels the future, rather than draws it close. Hence, the individual who has the least satisfaction with the day, the reality, will focus on fixing everything and everyone around them, “out of love” because they want those people to fit into nirvana in the future. So even their leadership will be tainted with judgement and low vibration thinking.

Breaking Addictions to the Future

I need nothing. I want nothing, and therefore I have everything.

This quote is not just a bumper sticker or a tattoo, or a sticky note on a mirror in the house. The quote is a mindset for life. Walking down the street, shopping, at school, at the dinner table, at work, facing challenges, facing support, in orgasm or in wealth. As an entrepreneur or employee, partner or friend. I need nothing, I want nothing and therefore I have everything, is a universal law applied every second that breaks addictions to the future.

Going back to the Namche Hill, to when everyone hits the wall and asks “is it worth it” and they all get from me the same answer. It’s the wrong question.....

You are on a path, if the solution to every hardship is “is it worth it?” The odds are you’ll never make it anywhere. You’ll eventually say no.

The only question on the way up the Namche Hill, when we all hit the wall, is “how can I celebrate and be thankful for this moment in time when I lift my tired leg, and make another step, amongst the power of the Himalayas, on a steep hill, surrounded by wild flowers, fresh air and friends? That’s the cure, for future addiction.

All Posts
×

Almost done…

We just sent you an email. Please click the link in the email to confirm your subscription!

OK