BE IN IT TO WIN IT
Victims suffer. They suffer self-doubt, anxiety, sleeplessness and confusion. It's not a winning thinking. Victims struggle, get depressed and really make like hard for themselves.
Yes, the world can be a tough place
Yes, some people are mean to us
Yes, it's not always fair
Yes, it would have been easier if you hadn't made that choice.
But you did... and there's no good in being a victim.
The one place from which there is no escape.
When the space gets hard, and you feel under stress, feeling like a victim doubles the suffering. I know it feels like someone will rescue you if you act like a victim but they can't. Nobody is going to treat you better than you.
When I was in Nepal for the first time, I'd invested $400,000 in an expedition. I tried to sell it to National Geographic but just because I had no experience as an adventurer, no knowledge of photography and am dyslexic, they didn't buy it.
I went anyway. I sold the joy of my "potential victory" to everyone. Bragged about how clever I was, boasted about how brave I was, celebrated my victory before I left. And when I arrived, and started, I failed. I tried to spin the story about being a victim of ... well you name it. But my father had beaten the crap out of me when I played victim. And that was bad, but I just could not swallow my own spit and speak the tone of a victim. I failed, fucked up, messed up. And, I admitted it.
By facing the mirror and finding my reality, I also needed a different story than "I'm a dickhead who failed." And there's always a success story. I actually went on a trek instead and as a result took over 57 more trips to the Himalayas, became an honoured friend of Nepal and made hundreds of my very best friends on earth. I found something by losing something. So, who's a victim? Not me.
I've also been married 5 times, had three spine surgery's to save my legs and had some pretty dark days but never a victim, always there's a silver lining to every story. And that's why, I'm able to live the dream life. I'm never ever a victim. I find the benefit in everything.
A friend rang wanting to give some advice to the sister of their mate. She'd been dumped and was shattered. My advice was simple: In 10 years time, with the benefit of time, you'll be so glad you broke up with this guy, so why wait ten years to celebrate? No need to be a victim, find the path you chose and enjoy it.
It's also important to realise we are never a victim because the outcome we are facing we caused. But that's another story.